I first heard the word "Vanitas" from my lover, that there is a word to describe the art of death or decaying. The morning sunlight falls gently on the hanging decaying bouquet. I stood close, and breathe the scent of the dying flowers.
At this moment it was so apt to describe my feeling right now.
I look up the word on the internet because I could not remember the word was "Vanitas". I found it, but I had another discovery instead.
わびさび Wabi-sabi -
In traditional Japanese aesthetics, wabi-sabi (侘寂) is a world view centered on the acceptance of transience and imperfection. The aesthetic is sometimes described as one of beauty that is "imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete". It is a concept derived from the Buddhist teaching of the three marks of existence (三法印 sanbōin), specifically impermanence (無常 mujō), suffering (苦 ku) and emptiness or absence of self-nature (空 kū). Characteristics of the wabi-sabi aesthetic include asymmetry, roughness, simplicity, economy, austerity, modesty, intimacy, and appreciation of the ingenuous integrity of natural objects and processes.
わびさび Wabi-sabi is the better way to put it - to describe an emotional bond, so strong, respected, and meaningful that I shared with someone so beautiful - The beauty of this being impermanent. The fact wabi-sabi is a Japanese word, I can't help it but to grief even more.